There’s Nothing Good on the Internet

Anymore


Corrective Action Plan

Corrective Action Plan

Lying in bed, awake at 1:47 am, he was left with his thoughts and loneliness sleeping next to him.

The grass grew brown; died, got replaced, and then the only thing under his feet was concrete…

was all that he could think as he got up, got dressed, and walked out the door.

Its official: the cigarette smoking man is working on a corrective action plan.

But in the meantime, the cigarette smoking man sits in an all-night café, drinking his life away.

He says, “Excuse me Miss Waitress, can I have another shot of kill the loneliness?”

These days, his thoughts are consumed with the past and with a woman named Amy,

with whom he was friends; but, to put simply: Everything Got Fucked Up,

and the friendship ended.

But rest assured: the cigarette smoking man is working on a corrective action plan.

But in the meantime, the cigarette smoking man sits in an all-night café, drinking his life away.

He asks again, “Excuse me Miss Waitress, can I have another shot of kill the loneliness?”


We Fall Apart On Weekends

We Fall Apart On Weekends

Mother Nature should pay for her evil ways.

Fuck this oppressive wind, forever blowing,

forever initiating contact with my skin, without asking, at its whim.

Violating me: daring me to do something different.

From a bench in Dickinson Square Park with Amy sitting next to me- I count:

One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven cars flying by; off to somewhere better than here…

Let’s face it: the fireworks don’t work (the love is gone) and I’ve been fired

and replaced through automation and better industrial design,

which is a process that’s a sign of the times.

Here’s to simple rhyme schemes and the children playing on the playground equipment

in the distance that’s rusted and barely works anymore either.

Let’s toast to NEVER worrying about the future

and never ever about the past,

with past sins no longer acting like wet blankets that you can’t just throw off…


Library List

I’m keeping a list of people, books, and movies that I want to check out when I go to the library. I often go to the library and forget my list or get lost looking around, etc… so keeping a reference here that I can easily access and change will help.

Dennis Cooper

Sade

Genet

E. M. Forster

Louise Erdrich

Ann Beattie

Michel Houellebecq

Terry Southern

Bataille

 Algren, The Man with the Golden Arm

 


Works of Art

Over at the New York Review of Books blog, I came across what I’ve block quoted below. I randomly stumbled upon it and was taken aback because it pretty much drives directly at feelings and a perspective that I’ve been trying to convery in various ways.

The world is so big, so complicated, so replete with marvels and surprises that it takes years for most people to begin to notice that it is, also, irretrievably broken. We call this period of research “childhood.”

There follows a program of renewed inquiry, often involuntary, into the nature and effects of mortality, entropy, heartbreak, violence, failure, cowardice, duplicity, cruelty, and grief; the researcher learns their histories, and their bitter lessons, by heart. Along the way, he or she discovers that the world has been broken for as long as anyone can remember, and struggles to reconcile this fact with the ache of cosmic nostalgia that arises, from time to time, in the researcher’s heart: an intimation of vanished glory, of lost wholeness, a memory of the world unbroken. We call the moment at which this ache first arises “adolescence.” The feeling haunts people all their lives.

Everyone, sooner or later, gets a thorough schooling in brokenness. The question becomes: What to do with the pieces? Some people hunker down atop the local pile of ruins and make do, Bedouin tending their goats in the shade of shattered giants. Others set about breaking what remains of the world into bits ever smaller and more jagged, kicking through the rubble like kids running through piles of leaves. And some people, passing among the scattered pieces of that great overturned jigsaw puzzle, start to pick up a piece here, a piece there, with a vague yet irresistible notion that perhaps something might be done about putting the thing back together again.

Two difficulties with this latter scheme at once present themselves. First of all, we have only ever glimpsed, as if through half-closed lids, the picture on the lid of the jigsaw puzzle box. Second, no matter how diligent we have been about picking up pieces along the way, we will never have anywhere near enough of them to finish the job. The most we can hope to accomplish with our handful of salvaged bits—the bittersweet harvest of observation and experience—is to build a little world of our own. A scale model of that mysterious original, unbroken, half—remembered. Of course the worlds we build out of our store of fragments can be only approximations, partial and inaccurate. As representations of the vanished whole that haunts us, they must be accounted failures. And yet in that very failure, in their gaps and inaccuracies, they may yet be faithful maps, accurate scale models, of this beautiful and broken world. We call these scale models “works of art.”

Michael Chabon: http://www.nybooks.com/blogs/nyrblog/2013/jan/31/wes-anderson-worlds/


On Work and War: What’s It All Good For? Absolutely Nothing.

On War:

Its often said that the generations born after Vietnam have never experienced war and are therefore coddled, spoiled, etc., etc., and all of the other garbage that people say when they want to disparge a group of people. This idea was put forth in the Ewan McGregor movie Beginners; but every now and then, I come across it floating around regularly enough. People should push back against this notion. War never disappeared, it just took on different forms and further solidified the ideological foundations on which it is supported. We live in the age of drones and strategic conflicts and kill lists. All of the violence is still here evidenced from the first Gulf War to Bush Jr.’s playtime in Iraq.

On Work:

I broke down my work week today out of frustration resulting from not being able to pursue other goals and intrests that I have outside of work. At times, I feel like my life is being drained away and I’m just left tired and worthless:

120 hrs exist in a Monday – Friday, 5 day work week.

Here are the rough numbers:

Within this time frame I spend 30 hrs sleeping which is about 6 hrs per night (I get terrible sleep and wake up in the middle of the night and often toss and turn for these hours).

I spend 12.5 hrs per week waking up and getting ready for work and then commuting to work. I wake up at 5 am. I spend 10 hrs per week commuting home. I take public transportation; I live in a bigger city.

I spend 42 hrs per week actually sitting at work around the same bunch of idiots- which is 9.5 hrs per day Monday through Thrusday and 4 hrs on Friday.

All together thats 94.5 hours of time committed to or revolving around work.

—-

During the week I get 16 hrs of free time, about 4 hrs per night Monday-Thursday, 7 pm – 11 pm. On Friday, I get about 9 hrs of free time 2 pm – 11 pm.

That’s a total of 25.5 hrs of free time per week.

—-

Here are the kickers:

I didn’t include anything extra when determining the free time like grocery shopping or cooking or washing dishes/clothes, etc… so its really less “free” / “do something actually meaningful” time than it appears.

Probably most significantly, the free time that I have are what I call the “dreg” hours. The hours left after spending all of my time doing bullshit so that by the time “free time” comes around, I’m too tired to do anything or give a damn.

—-

You can’t win this game if you actually want to do anything real with your life. I feel myself getting more stupid and fat each day.

And yes, I understand that the only way to win is to give in and not push back or look for other alternatives outside of the existing status quo… but if people did that in the past we would all be slaves and our children would be working in sweat shop conditions. People are so quick to forget the past.

jacobinmag.com writes a lot on the topic of work and work conditions and advocates from the prospective that with increased technological advances LESS work and more freedom should be goals to strive for…